131532

Joke of the Day

"Today i was woken up with a blowjob.. i will never fall asleep with my mouth open anymore."

"Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication."

"If you feel unsure about a new haircut, ask a man if it looks okay. But ask him many, many, many times. Never be satisfied with his answer."

"pregnancy tests should just read ""pregnant"" or ""nope just fat"""

"What's a rabbits' favorite dance? The bunny hop."

"So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party."

"Guy comes home and says to his wife, ""Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!"" She jumps for joy and asks, ""Where are we going?!?"" He says, ""I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!"""

"If chick-fil-a ever merged with five guys, what would they could call themselves? five-guys-fil-a-chick"

"Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country? Too many horses were drowning."

"What is the Ape monster's name? Godzilla Gorilla!"