221983

Joke of the Day

"Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide"

"Actual Critic Armani blazer: 20k Gucci shoes: 15k Tag Heuer watch: 50k Friend meets you and says ""Looking Idiot"" - Priceless"

"What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends? Cannelonely!"

"Witness: I saw the defendant stabbing the victim. Lawyer: Objection! Witness is ugly! Judge: Sustained. Jury will disregard the statement."

"Some of you talk more than my wife. The good news is I can just unfollow you instead of burying you in the back yard to shut you up."

"I walked into a bar the other day... ...ouch"

"Fat girls are like mopeds. They're fun to ride until your friends find out."

"WTF dude put your hands down I'm NOT robbing you I just enjoy wearing pantyhose on my face this is getting so old put $20 on pump 5 man"

"Engineers' view about a glass of water! To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

"What's the difference between a scout boy and a jew? The scout boy comes home from camp."