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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp? Give him sheet music."

"Hey Dora the Explorer, stop talking to me like I'm a FUCKING RETARD!"

"A song called ""Baby It's Not *THAT* Cold Outside"" where I'm just trying to get the lady to leave"

"Why did the overweight actor fall through the theater floor? It was just a stage he was going through"

"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"

"What does a british man say when he's about to climax? I'm arriving"

"Okay, 45-year-old divorced women on Facebook who are ""LUV'N' LIFE!"" Calm down. We get it."

"In my family i'm the youngest of three. My parents are both older -Stewart Francis"

"A man was apprehended for public masturbation but ultimately let go because he only did it for 10 seconds... Ya, he definitely got off easy."

"A man asks, ""God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"" God responded, ""So you would love her."" The man asks, ""But God, why did you make her so dumb?"" God replied, ""So she would love you."""