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Joke of the Day

"I read somewhere that only 2/11 jokes are funny. Well, what I read was that 9/11 jokes are never funny, but I like to be positive."

"What's better than two roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"They say anal sex is like your first car... you might not like it but your dad will give it to you anyway!"

"""Any two-watt bulbs?"" ""For what?"" ""That'll do. I'll take two."" ""Two what?"" ""I thought you didn't have any."" ""Any what?"" ""Yes, please."""

"What is the most independent kind of cheese? Prov alone."

"What kind of weather puts a smile on snoop dogg' face? Drizzle.. my nizzle"

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"There is a fine line between public and pubic"

"How five Jews changed the way we see the world: Moses: ""The Law is everything"" Jesus: ""Love is everything"" Marx: ""Money is everything"" Freud: ""Sex is everything"" Einstein: ""Everything is relative"""

"HIPSTER BOOTY CALL... BEER Can I buy you an ironically lowbrow beer?"