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Joke of the Day

"I told my friends I'm going on a date with a cute girl. They told me she's imaginary, but joke's on them, so are they."

"Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies? It's so realistic."

"I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner"

"Even if you disagree with his politics you have to admit that for a second term president he doesn't even look pregnant."

"They say all of this started because Eve ate an apple. Clearly, the book was altered. Everyone knows it had to be chocolate."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He was trying to draw the zoophile into traffic. Thanks /u/LFBR for the premise."

"Children in the backseat cause accidents. But accidents in the backseat cause children."

"Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? 'Cause he wanted to git a long, little doggie."

"Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once."

"What do you call a black Asian bird? Croatian."