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Joke of the Day

"It's not a great nap, unless you wake up and can't remember what day it is."

"My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now. I need a drink."

"Why were the 2 in love melons upset? Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)"

"I heard you can turn soup to gold... You just have to add 24 carrots"

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent!"

"Can't, busy teaching a toddler gang signs."

"You know what's wild, a person can die from complications from Alzheimer's. Even Wilder, it's always in the Genes."

"My State of the Union I am from Illinois, but I also lived in Arizona for a while."

"What do you call a flying bagel? A plane bagel."

"""Men, we need a durable lunch meat that can also be used as a hockey puck."" - makers of Spam."