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Joke of the Day

"If we are what we eat... ...children in Africa don't exist."

"If these walls could talk I bet it would be gibberish cause these walls are plastered."

"I have a friend whose thighs don't touch..I was jealous until a breeze came up..It sounded like a turbo fan in wind tunnel. Small favors."

"Chuck Norris just says ""no"" to drugs. If he said ""yes"", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure."

"The other day I held the door open for a clown... It was a nice jester"

"Anyone know the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? You know, besides the taste."

"Looks like Trump is going to lose the presidency I guess his erection is going cost him the election"

"I like my mashed potatoes like I like my babies smothered - thought of this while making dinner and discussing having children with my fiance... I don't think I'm ready for kids"

"My uncle performed circumcisions... He kept all the foreskin and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase."

"I'm celibate because i don't give a fuck."