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Joke of the Day
"Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency? It's always prepared."
Next Joke
"You got acute appendicitis .. No, YOU got a cute appendicitis *winks at doctor*"
"The FBI agents that will eventually search your basement won't be able to sleep for a very long time."
"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""fear not,"" he says and points at Jesus. ""for he has resin."""
"My phone got married last week. The service was good despite the lousy reception."
"Why is mustard gas so dangerous? Because it was used in World War One to kill people."
"What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket? Lindt choclate."
"My cousin is a terrible proofreader. He always drinks a bottle of Jack Daniels before he checks my work."
"I'd rather look back at my life and say ""I can't believe I did that"" instead of saying,. ""I wish I did that."""
"i want to take one of those cruises where people shit right there on the boat but apparently they only happen randomly as a surpris,e"