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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you say grace when eating Chinese food? Because they run you over with a tank if you do. Found this on Becker, didn't know if I should put this here or goingtohellforthis"

"I went to the noodle shop yesterday... and ordered a bowl of noodles. The waitress brought it out, but tripped and spilled the noodles and hot broth all over my right arm. It felt pretty raw, man."

"Lawyer: do you watch people use the bathroom? Defendant: no Lawyer: spell ""ICUP"" Defendant: I-C-U-P Judge: *softly* omg Jury: *whispering*"

"What is Hitler's least favorite month? Jew-ly EDIT: how about jan-jew-ary, or jewne?"

"Jesus tells Peter, ""Come forth and you shall have eternal glory!"" Peter came in fifth and won a toaster."

"What's the worst thing about a woman's panties? Your nuts hang out the side. A homeless guy told me this joke in exchange for pocket change"

"[Dark] What is black on the bottom and white on top? Society."

"I think my cat is using me for my money I mean the sex is great, but I just don't feel an emotional connection."

"Why did the miner feel so low? He was in a deep depression."

"Did you hear about the criminal who wanted to lose weight to fit into smaller clothes? Last I heard, he was still at large."