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Joke of the Day

"What do Native Americans call vegetarians? Poor hunters"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Silent."

"Why is Russia the gassiest country? Because their leader is Putin."

"The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it."

"That if you love them set them free thing, what if they all come back at once"

"Her: when you said ""magical in bed"" this isn't exactly what I was exp- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card Her: *softly* holy shit"

"We'd probably have a lot less crime if superheroes would stop making movies all the time."

"I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it ""cooking"""

"3 Steps to being a good Programmer 1. Avoid recursion 2. Repeat steps 1 and 2. 3. Always have an exit condition. 4. Beware of being off by one."

"I'm thin, I'm just not ""black dudes on the street will ignore me"" thin."