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Joke of the Day

"""ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE LOL!"" -captain of the Titanic"

"Why did I cross the road? Because your mom was on the other side.."

"Doctor's wife was told she was terrible in bed. After coming home late, the Doctor accused her of cheating. She responded, ""I wasn't out cheating, I was out getting a second opinion."""

"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"

"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"

"My wife has the body of a woman half her age. I suppose I should call the police."

"On sunday remember to turn your clocks back an hour And on tuesday vote Trump to set our country back 60 years."

"Only an ass can be divided in half."

"You know your marriage is on the rocks when your wife goes to bed wearing a rape whistle."

"What is Hitler's favourite type of music? Reich n' Roll"