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Joke of the Day

"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"

"What did the cow say when she jumped off a cliff? ""Geronimoo!"""

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but she charges me extra for weird stuff"

"I Googled ""James Earl Jones"" to see whether or not he's alive and the Wikipedia link was purple from the other times I've done this."

"French joke Why are the streets of France lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade."

"Why are there no black cults? Everyone drinks the kool-ade on the first day."

"QA Engineer Goes To A Bar He orders 1 beer. He orders -1 beer. He orders 644644678 beer. He orders a goat. He orders asdfg."

"Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are."

"If green gummy bears are strawberry flavored, what is the flavor of yellow gummy bears? PHLEGMon"

"What does Elvis say when he gets an infection that standard antibiotics can't treat? MRSA!"