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Joke of the Day

"And they lived apathetically ever after."

"Sound smarter than you are: end words with ""eaux"" and sentences with ""if you will."" If you're pissed, ""quite frankly"" adds a nice touch."

"I once went to an all you can eat bakery in France. It was a painful experience."

"People who call themselves ""grammar Nazis"" deserve the worst possible sentence."

"I watched the African version of ""Man v. Food"", but it was just a half-hour of a guy chasing a gazelle."

"The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone."

"You're doing really well now please pull into this liquor store do you want anything? -Me as a Drivers Ed teacher"

"I like to make jokes about summarizing stories without context. For example: *...Long story short, my mother isn't allowed to walk on the neighbor's lawn anymore*"

"What do you buy a recently neutered cat? Spay Roses."

"Dreading the day that all my present and past roommates figure out that I haven't bought my own body wash in 10 years."