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Joke of the Day
"What do you buy a recently neutered cat? Spay Roses."
Next Joke
"I thought that whale movie was super offensive.... ...because of all those actors in Blackfish."
"TIL that if you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end... You would die."
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them."
"My Dad got me a thesaurus for Christmas last year But when I opened it every single page was blank. I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was."
"Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook."
"Hillary Clinton says to the Devil, ""What happened? You promised me that I'd win the election?"" The Devil replies, ""Yeah, and you promised me a soul."""
"Scientists believe the world began with the ""Big Bang"". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a ""bad case of gas""."
"What should you do if you have a basset hound over for dinner? Have a short table!"
"Saying 'Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?' only works in the movies and not with strangers at Sports Authority"