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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how to tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she fits in your wife's clothing."

"I had an addiction to soap... but thanks to some dirty bastards stealing all of it, I am clean now."

"A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy."

"A roman centurion walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says: ""Five beers, please."""

"Pick a number, now add 7, divide by 4, write it down. Now get an apple, name it, show it a picture of your cat. Now go to bed,you're drunk."

"Japan won't get Fallout 4 until December 17th, but that's okay, they got the original fallout 70 years before us."

"Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs through your jeans."

"I want Rebecca Black to make a music video for every day of the week! Said by nobody. Ever."

"There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day."

"Life sucks when a girlfriend doesn't"