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Joke of the Day

"*Arrives at ticket stall with my girl* Me: Two tickets to the movie please. Attendant: For The Hobbit? Me: No, that's my girlfriend."

"How many pushups can Ryan Gosling do? All of them."

"I like to listen to sad music when I'm sad to make me double sad."

"I'm so sick of unexpected character deaths for shock value. This is a terrible pilates video."

"Persian joke Yesterday I was so hungry, I went to the sandwich shop and ordered Ham e Cheese. .... means ""every thing"". (first timer here, be gentle)"

"I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages."

"How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Light bulb."

"ShermanFury @ShermanFury, so clever...."

"Oregon have legalised marijuana and are creating a new strand It's called Oregon-o... ^^^I'm^^^Sorry."

"A man walked into a bar. ""Ouch"""