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Joke of the Day

"In High School they used to call me Big Tim, but it wasn't because of my height, Ladies ;).... .....its because I was Morbidly Obese."

Next Joke
 
"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."
"I broke up with a tin of paint this week. I'm feeling pretty emulsional. (CREDIT TO MY MUM FOR THIS MASTERPIECE)"
"My friend tried to annoy me with bird puns But he didn't know toucan play that game."
"why do JEWS have big noses ? air is free"
"I farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around. I felt like I was on The Voice!"
"Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar"
"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? Because if it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan."
"My parents just googled me and now they're crying"
"After 3 months of Crest White Strips, my teeth are so white they bought me a gift card to Anthropologie & wont stop talking about Mad Men."