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Joke of the Day
"Everybody who believes in telekinesis raise MY right hand."
Next Joke
"Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't know the words."
"When I order pizza online, in the ""Special Instructions for the Driver"" box, I put ""Tell me I'm a pretty princess"". And they do. And I am."
"Just before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time... I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments"
"Him: I really like your car Me: Thanks! H: What is it? Me: Uh......black?"
"Im sick of people calling America ""the stupidest country in the world"" Personally, I think Europe is."
"Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies? Your erection...."
"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot"
"If a tree falls down and only a woman hears it, what the fuck was a tree doing in my kitchen?"
"911: What's your emergency? Me: Do you think I'm pretty"