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Joke of the Day

"When I order pizza online, in the ""Special Instructions for the Driver"" box, I put ""Tell me I'm a pretty princess"". And they do. And I am."

"My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth."

"How do you call a lesbian's pussy? The no man's land. (From me, but that's an easy one, so someone must have come up with it before. But as a frenchman, I'm pretty proud of it.)"

"I have come up with the most awkward event of all time: the Father-Son wedding dance."

"5 black people walk into a restaurant... And the first one says, ""Table for three please."""

"Here's an offensive joke, what's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra, you bastard."

"My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger."

"I will work for Apple But I take bananas too. Or just any food. Please."

"What's the different between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza? I give a shit when my pizza is burnt."

"What ethnic group do cannibals eat on thanksgiving? Turkish"