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Joke of the Day

"Me: What kind of tools do I need to make a cake? Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this."

Next Joke
 
"What is the richest beverage? Juice."
"Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes."
"Why go through the trouble of becoming an astronaut when you could just put a plastic bag over your head and roll down a hill in a freezer?"
"'Jesus loves you' means one thing in general society. And something completely different in prison."
"HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable ""hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"""
"Whats a zombie's favorite drink? Egg noggin."
"My favorite knock knock joke Knock Knock Who's there I eat mop I eat mop who. Say it out loud."
"so a Gorilla a Mother and a Child walk into a bar The Gorilla took a shot, the mum got arrested for child endangerment"
"I keep getting calls telling me that I have outstanding bills... ...and while I appreciate the compliment, they're really nothing special."