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Joke of the Day

"Michael Jackson, too soon? What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One of them walks on the moon, the other one fucks little boys in the ass"

"Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?"

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... Then it hit me."

"What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey? Anchor."

"Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink? So women know where to stand in the kitchen."

"Twitter mobile app is still showing stars not hearts so I'm going to stay on here like those violinists at the end of Titanic."

"So cats CAN'T fend for themselves for 4 weeks after all. Even though I left mini frozen pizzas, cash for emergencies and my mobile number."

"How do you tell the difference between a male chromosome and a female chromosome? You pull down their genes!"

"A plane full of redditors crashed... Is an impossible statement because a plane full of redditors wouldn't even be able to take off in the first place."

"What's the best joke you ever heard? For me, it's gotta be Emo Phillips' Baptist joke. Although to tell it you've gotta get his execution down."