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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They are making headlines."

"[Ouija board] Spirits are you there? U R C U T E D O Y O U H A V E K I K *flips board*"

"What do you call a chocolate moose? Dessert."

"Yes, they're good. But mangoes act like they know they're good, and that's unappealing to me."

"I ran into a racist Jamaican on Halloween, I went into a gas station wearing an Obama mask, he said no mosques allowed."

"I've found that nowadays most people don't like holding hands in public. Especially if you don't know them."

"I don't hate you, I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence."

"Couches pull out... I don't"

"Another lawyer joke What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One's a scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish."

"Don't just upgrade Windows 8 Up-upgrade it."