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Joke of the Day

"I asked Rick Astley to lend me some Pixar movies...... He said you can take Cars, you can take Toy Story but I'm never gonna give you Up."

"There's a new app for people recovering from bad dates. Anyone ever tried *Cinder*?"

"Girl just asked me to talk dirty so I described the space behind my fridge."

"Why aren't jokes in base eight funny? Because 7, 10, 11!"

"I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit."

"I have a friend named ""Chris Hoffman"" I asked him to name his son Jack."

"My pupil is dilated... ...6 inches. Guess I shouldn't have believed her nine months ago when she said she was on the pill. 13 year old girls are such liars."

"Ducks are the best animals to tell jokes. They always quack me up"

"Will I be able to drink with these? - First question when prescribed meds"

"What's the easiest way to come out of the closet? 1. Open door 2. Walk out"