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Joke of the Day

"My uncle always believed that ""Between duct tape and WD-40 you can fix just about anything."" I still can't believe it took seven years before he lost his medical license."

"What did the muslim man say when he arrived at his resort in Hawaii? Aloha Snackbar!"

"How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!"

"[couples therapy] HER: He's always talking down to me ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen"

"Say what you will about the Russian Olympic Team... ...I think they're pretty dope"

"What did one strawberry say to the other? ""If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"""

"Why did Princess Leia cry at the end of Return of the Jedi? Her father just died."

"I say ""post-9/11"" for literally anything that happened in the last 14 years. Madagascar 2 is so post-9/11. Dr Pepper Ten is a post-9/11 soda"

"I'll never forget the first time we met Although, I'll keep trying ."

"My neighbour left her outdoor stereo blaring & went out for the night. I now have a set of speakers for sale, minus the wires. Call me."