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Joke of the Day

"5: I cleaned my room. Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something. 5: No. Next time you can do it."

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"Jokes about fat people aren't funny. They just don't work out."
"Two Cookies Two cookies are baking in an oven. The first cookie says, ""Man it's hot in here."" The second cookie says, ""Holy crap! A talking cookie!"""
"If you watch an Apple store get robbed... Are you an iWitness?"
"[Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] ""Yo, Taylor- I'm really happy for you & I'm-a let you finish, but..."""
"BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie."
"Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: ""Me sick, no work"" Boss SMS back: ""When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"" 2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss: ""Me ok, ur wife very sweet"""
"""You gotta try the lobs-"" - I'll should tell you... ""Yes?"" - We're not having sex. ""OK."" - What were you saying? ""The chicken here's great."""
"*a dripping wet Kurt Cobain stumbles out of his garage* ""OK WHO REPLACED MY GUN WITH A SUPERSOAKER"""
"Helpful Tip.. If you are ever cold just stand in a corner... There normally 90 degrees.."