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Joke of the Day

"My dad used to beat me every night HORSE, chess, Super Mario.."

"*Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you're not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!"

"Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head."

"What is in a virgin candy bar? Cherries and nuts"

"I went to the races yesterday. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip."

"What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"Opening a store called The Gorp! It's exactly like The Gap except we sell gravy."

"I love self deprecating humour. Shame I'm no good at it."

"Idiots beating you down Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

"My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover."