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Joke of the Day

"Me: One large buttery popcorn please! Him: Ma'am you have to buy a ticket to get into the movies... Me: One large buttery popcorn TO GO SIR"

"""I can't wait to see what my Happy Meal prize is! Wait...what the -"" [U2 is playing a free concert in the box]"

"How come Spider-Man didn't get the most obvious spider trait? Black."

"People who say age is just a number fundamentally don't get numbers and that's why I always borrow money from them."

"A father and son go fishing... Son: Dad, what do we do first? Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean. Son: Then what happens? Father: What happens next will shock you."

"Reading popular baby names. Once again, Adolf is nowhere to be found."

"I was playing a game of solitaire, but I only had a pack of Tarot cards I actually won, but 4 people died"

"A penis lives a sad life.. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, neighbor is an asshole, best friend is a pussy and owner beats him."

"Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places; 1/Walk slow 2/Stop for no reason 3/Repeat above"

"I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon."