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Joke of the Day

"I just make stuff up as I go. I call it Jazz Parenting."

"evanescence - noun: the process of vanishing or fading out of sight, memory, or existence. So that's what happened. Great band name, guys."

"Necessity is the mother of Cessity. Also Shaquanda."

"Terrify your parents by answering your cellphone."

"What gets less rain than the Sahara Desert? The sun!"

"I'm not one of those moms who talks about her kids all the time because their lives don't interest me in the least."

"Have you heard the one about the roof? never mind, just forget about it, it's probably over your head."

"What do whores and sailors have in common? They are both always surrounded by sea - men! I made up this one."

"What did the last-place olympian say after someone stole his sled? What have I got to luge?"

"I have really bad hearing & thought he said ""I love turds"" but he said ""nerds"" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear."