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Joke of the Day
"""I have a split personality."" ...said Tom, being frank."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race"
"What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds? Government bonds mature over time and earn money"
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""GET OUT OF MY BAR, YOU FUCKING HORSE!"""
"Where does the CIA buy its groceries? Whole Foods"
"What does Matthew McConnaughey call Nazis when he's trying to bring them into the mainstream? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"
"A miner is selling raw ore... He's approached by a blacksmith who says, ""I'll take it."" The miner questions, ""Which one?"" Blacksmith replies,"" Either ore."" BADUMTISSSS"
"What do you call an American white guy in a Christmas sweater? A Christmas cracker"
"Sex. Don't get it? good, you never will."
"What do cats eat on a hot summer day? Micecream!"