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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds? Government bonds mature over time and earn money"

"What happened when the Italian chef died? He pasta way"

"Two guys are drinking at the country club bar... First guy says, ""Hey, you want to go play some golf?"" Second guy says, ""No, not today."" ""Why not?"" ""Because I never drink and drive."""

"What do you get when Philip Glass breaks? John Cage."

"What do you call a man with no feet and is allergic to milk? Lack-toes intolerant"

"If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally"

"I made an original joke And it's not funny"

"I don't want to tell you how to run your company, Hostess, but liquidating just as weed becomes legal seems like a bad business decision."

"I was bit by a rattlesnake last summer. After three days of excruciating pain the snake died"

"Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies."