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Joke of the Day
"What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future? The iPhone Ayyyye-t"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a clever child and a rude marathoner? One's a cunning runt..."
"some people are like slinkys They really aren't good for anything but it feels great when you push them down the stairs."
"God: ""MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE."" Moses: ""New burning bush. Who dis?"""
"Why did the spider cross the road? To get to his website!"
"What is ET short for? So he can fit in the spaceship."
"Being in love is amazing, the way it takes your breath away, closes your air passages and renders you unconscio--no, wait, that's asthma."
"How many Apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one... but it takes a shitload of light bulbs."
"If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem."
"When I'm in the bathroom a long time, I come out sniffing & wiping my nose so people think I was doing coke and not making a doody"