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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."
Next Joke
"My penis is so long When i put it on my keyboard, it covers all the way from A to Z"
"[buying condoms] Do you have anything bigger? Like if someone wanted to pretend to be a slippery ghost for a day, or something like that."
"Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'? Honey, you should have asked me last nightit was on the tip of my tongue."
"Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?"
"What is ISIS's favorite type of text? Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading"
"What's the definition of a mere myth? A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg"
"My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw ""Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"""
"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"
"""My computer just crashed"" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm"