95882

Joke of the Day

"Silly Billy went in a library and said, "" I would like to have a pizza."" Librarian - "" Sir, this is a library."" Billy goes near his ear and whispers - "" I would like to have a pizza."""

"I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years."

"The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher."

"Is zero dark thirty the combination to the hurt locker?"

"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."

"Let's talk about pre-mature ejaculation real quick. Ok, all done."

"What do you call an ""Asian"" that loves using moisturizer? Laotian."

"Why did the boy think you hit menopause when you graduated high school? Because it was the end of all your periods."

"Marijuana doesn't kill your brain cells. You're just an idiot."

"My grades are getting better Sike, that's the wrong subreddit"