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Joke of the Day

"What do Brazil and lesbians have in common? Neither like touching balls."

"My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle."

"Whats green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table"

"What's the closest synonym to a love boat? A relation-ship."

"My ex-gf invited me to her wedding Told her I was busy, will be there next time"

"How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm? They always have several lairs."

"An anvil walks into a bar.. The bartender asks him, would you like a beer? The anvil answers: ""No thanks, I'm already hammered."""

"I think the best thing about being a cyclops is no one would notice if you had a lazy eye."

"I just got one of those workout watches apparently i've masturbated 5.8 miles today"

"How did I get out of Afghanistan? Iran."