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Joke of the Day
"What do Brazil and lesbians have in common? Neither like touching balls."
Next Joke
"Taking vocabulary to a whole new thingy"
"I used to work at the factory that made fire hydrants. Couldn't park anywhere near the place."
"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"
"I'm a guy that loves to show a woman exactly what I like sexually. So I start off every first date with a 2-hour PowerPoint presentation."
"My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like ""please untie me"" and ""just tell me who you are""."
"I was at an airport recently and there was a aircraft that was pure white. Looked pretty plane to me."
"So a blind man walks into a bar. At least he thinks so."
"FRIEND: Do you want to go [i don't hear the rest because i'm already sighing too loudly]"
"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""