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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like ""please untie me"" and ""just tell me who you are""."

"Buzz Aldrin is the second man on the moon... Neil before me"

"Spelling errors in quotations make me sic."

"On my birthday, my wife asked me to take her some where she never visited... On my birthday, my wife asked me to take her some where she never visited. So I took her to the kitchen :P"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"I once hung out with Dwyane Johnson and Danny Trejo... ...and I was literally stucked between the Rock and a hard face. ^^"

"A Mexican plays uno, And steals all the green cards.."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Keemstar? Hitler knew when to kill himself. Edit: Holy shit 200+ likes."

"Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's ""cool,"" but when I do I'm ""lying"""

"wonder why's theres a pizza laying here in the middle of the woods *eats it* *dies 82 years later* dammit it was a trap"