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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones? White Mail Privilege"

"The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety"" - Science Person"

"Critics are calling my performance of Wife Pretending To Care About Her Husband's Work Story ""emotionally charged"" and ""daring""."

"If I had wings, I'd spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons"

"My Doberman sits on other dogs to assert dominance. I'm going to try this with my co-workers."

"What do you call a Russian road with a KFC and lots of prostitutes? The Road of Bones"

"Why do elephants wear green shoes? So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?"

"Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00. Sincerely, The Unicorns"

"Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions."

"I've always been really bad at telling jokes. I always manage to fuck up the punchline."