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Joke of the Day

"The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety"" - Science Person"

"Who Loves Debates? De fishes"

"What is the difference between a Cadillac and five dead Asian hookers? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage"

"I gave 3 berries to my friend in a trail and got shot immediately... The sign never said they would shoot for trespassing!"

"Did you hear about the fly that flew through a screen door? He strained himself."

"Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation."

"Christmas these days is a lot like having sex The build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money."

"ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way"

"How do crabs get out of hospitals? On crotches."

"*goes to Australia *sees hot girl *asks if she wants to be my first mate *winks forever *gets punched down under"