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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them."

"How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her."

"Hope you guys like clean humor videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNt-aTq0hxM"

"The last time I checked, I was a weirdo. Let me check again. Yep, still a weirdo."

"I wish I were as attractive to women as I am to mosquitoes."

"Can you be electrocuted by a news story? The answer may shock you."

"Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, was quite skinny, and apparently had bad breath. That'd make him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"

"I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!"

"what do you call a red head's problem? a ginger ail"

"DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUNTER & A STALKER What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker? ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!"