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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They are very efficient, and have no sense of humor."

"Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind 2. No business."

"A willow tree walks into a bar, and a guy sitting next to the counter says to the bartender, Who's the new guy? And the bartender says, I don't know, but I've heard he's a shady character!"

"What do you call immigrants to Sweden? Ugly."

"So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed."

"Dad: What do you want for your birthday? Me: I want a gf thats not crazy. Dad: You should ask for something more realistic. Like a dragon."

"What do you get when you cross a valley girl and a goth? Oh macabre! (say it out loud with a really annoying white girl voice)"

"If you've ever wondered what it's like to try to dress a jelly fish, here, try to get pants on my toddler"

"What do you call a midget psychic committing a crime? Small medium at large."

"So an elephant and a naked man are talking, you know how that goes... and the elephant says to the naked man. ""Its cute but can you really breathe through it?"""