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Joke of the Day

"What is the United States doing to fight pedophiles? Child Obesity."

"I NEED A JOKE! I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS THE RIGHT SUBJECT BUT I REALLY NEED A JOKE THAT INCLUDES -a farmers field -a pack of dogs -burning house -a hospital -set in the nighttime Thanks so much"

"If hearing ""I love you"" was enough, we'd all buy parrots and live happily ever after."

"It's so cute. My kids always say ""I want to help you, Daddy!"" because they don't know the word ""hinder""."

"I'm allergic to sharks.. ..one shark bite and it's straight to the ER for me."

"What's a riot? Three dyslexics"

"Come close... Closer... Look deeply into my eyes and tell me what you see... Is it an eyelash? Seriously, help me out, it's killing me."

"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee"

"I don't know why /r/deadbedrooms complains so much about starfish sex. Personally, it really turns me on when her arms grow back."

"How do you insult a Catholic? Any way you like, they have to forgive you!"