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Joke of the Day

"Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates.....(Why?) Cause I want to take your top off."

"How do you get a Jewish Girl's number? Roll up her sleeve!"

"Why did Hellen Kellar burn her ear? The phone rang and she answered the iron. Why did she burn her other ear? They called back."

"So I just got a new FitBit. Everytime I take the stairs instead of the elevator, I tell myself ""For the watch!"""

"Why are midgets so skinny? Because they eat h*elf*ally"

"Why did the sailor ground his son? His grades were below sea level ^^im ^^so ^^sorry"

"Why was the picture acquitted of the charge for murder? Because it was framed."

"What's a tick's favorite food? A tic tac"

"What do you call an entrance to a brothel? Hodor."

"How do you know when the king of Egypt is horny? ...From all the Pharaoh moans."