198922

Joke of the Day

"So I just got a new FitBit. Everytime I take the stairs instead of the elevator, I tell myself ""For the watch!"""

"Once upon a time there was a happy woman... But that happened only once and only to one woman"

"My ""Not involved in human trafficking"" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt."

"Do thin girls know about delicious food?"

"This person told me ""When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!"" Alas, swine flu."

"Bob drowned... , so at his funeral we put a life jacket over his grave. It is what he would have wanted."

"Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon"

"It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It'll be me laughing at an inappropriate time."

"Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa? Because it can't be taken on empty stomach"

"A man walks into a bar It hurt"