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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none. They would just beat the room because it was black."

"A Newfie walks into a doctor's office... And says ""Doc b'y, I tinks I got dat H2N2 disease."" Doctor replied ""ummm...don't you mean H1N1?"" Newfie says ""No b'y, dis is twice as bad as dat!"""

"Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train? Because it went straight pasta."

"Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car? Because he had a cataract!"

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman."

"I got depressed last night so I called a self help hotline... I couldn't get through, the line was always busy."

"Premature ejaculation was the number one public health issue in the North Pole in 2016 Looks like Santa came early this year"

"Why can't you explain puns to kelptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally."

"Here's a Metallica joke for you. St. Anger."

"Studies have shown that smokers are 97% more likely than non-smokers... to walk out on their families."