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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy whose bank closed his account because he dropped his bowl of cereal? All his Chex bounced."

"How do you stop an elephant from charging? Vivisection."

"He told me I was too pretty not to smile. So I flipped him off, tackled him and shoved my middle finger up his nose. Now I'm smiling."

"I understand why abortion is a touchy subject (NSFW) Because on one hand I'm all for killing babies but I really don't think women should have a choice in the matter"

"I hate buying Velcro.. it's such a ripoff!"

"I watched what many consider the worst Star Trek episode ever, but I didn't think it was too bad. I guess I just have a lower Threshold for quality."

"Teacher Jokes Teacher If Cannot is short for cannot. What is Don""t short for? pupil. doughnut."

"What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin? ""LINE IT!"""

"Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin. They hatin. Patrollin and tryna catch me ridin dirty."

"I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel... We really opened a can of wormholes."