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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider? Bacon and scrambled leggs."

"Did you hear about the man who found a dollar in his beer? It happened once in a Blue Moon"

"Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke."

"Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking"

"ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers."

"Fords coming out with heated tailgates. So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it home."

"*sits* This is nice. *stands* This is also pretty cool. *lays down* Oh okay this is my favorite."

"We're like lazy revolutionaries who act only by posting lame comments on a public forum."

"I just recently bought a used car and I took it back 2 days later. ""This car is useless. It doesn't go past 60 up a hill."" ""60 uphill is really good. What's wrong with that?"" ""I live at 74."""

"Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments."