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Joke of the Day

"Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn't stop that murder."

"I think my daughter might turn out to be the next Martin Scorsese! (Her eyebrows are fucking terrifying)"

"A guy finds a genie... He says ""I wish I was better at talking to women."" ""Poof!"" the genie says, ""You're gay!"""

"Do you know why lions eat raw meat? Because lions don't know how to cook."

"Two cows walk into a vegan bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."""

"What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her."

"Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up"

"Binoculars have to be the worst gift you can buy for a cyclops."

"My wife with a hearing aid died RIP headphone users"

"What do you call spaghetti that carries a fake ID? an impasta!"