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Joke of the Day

"HELP ME I'M CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE nevermind I'm good."

"I just got a DM from a guy who said he was a Day Trader. I offered him 3 Mondays for a Friday."

"Whats a cab drivers favorite song? Livin' on a fare!"

"What is ""Paulie"" Pennino's favorite restaurant? Red Robin... Ya Bum"

"An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles... He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm."

"Those Valentine's Day displays at the entrance of every store are like surprise parties for your loneliness."

"Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say ""you suck"" so the target still gets the message"

"I have nothing in common with people who eat 1 Pringle at a time instead of frantically shoving 20 in their mouth like it's a wood chipper ."

"MY DATE WHO IS A SQUID: What movie should we see? ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*"

"I'm stuck somewhere between playing my cards right & not playing with a full deck."