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Joke of the Day
"Q: What has four legs and several fins? A: A happy bear!"
Next Joke
"Her: The laundry pods are missing! Me: Oh really? H: Did you eat them again? M: Absolutely not *burps bubbles* why? H: JUST CALL IT A HUNCH!"
"If I could have back all the money I've spent on drugs and alcohol, I'd celebrate by buying more drugs and alcohol."
"firemen keep harvesting my cat tree"
"The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store."
"What do you call an intelligent Saudi Arabian woman? Target practice"
"Her: i'm in the mood Me: me too Her: wanna do it Me: oh yeah baby [we drive to Home Depot to look at paint]"
"I don't get why it's called a super moon It doesn't even have a cape"
"Now if they could just make PokemonStop.. I could sit and actually enjoy this game! In playin pokemon Yellow right now ; p"
"I'm crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines."