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Joke of the Day

"The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store."

"Did you hear about the one about the heart and stomach? Nevermind, it's an inside joke."

"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?"

"I like my chairs the way I like my women Quiet and conforming to my body"

"If i had to guess, i would guess that the number one search word on Bing is Google."

"I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters"

"All microwaveable popcorn packages should be accompanied by dental floss"

"""And how's yer wife Pat?"" ""Sure she do be awful sick."" ""Is ut dangerous she is?"" ""No she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!"""

"What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk."

"Women don't want to hear a man's opinion... ...They just want to hear their own in a deeper voice. (Credit to Jeff Foxworthy)"