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Joke of the Day

"I wasn't good enough for you in high school but suddenly after 5 kids a husband and 3 boyfriends I'm starting to look good eh?"

"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra... and says ""I'll order three beers."""

"Did you hear about the giant that threw up? It's all over town."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost."

"I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets."

"Are you cold? Come sit in the corner, it's 90 degrees."

"Sir, you will have to stop masturbating. ""Why, doctor?"" ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."

"Please be patient...I'm fcuking things up as fast as I can."

"The first time I had sex, I was really scared... I was all alone! --Rodney Dangerfield"